


Technical difficulties

by involuntaryorange



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Humor, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5827399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/involuntaryorange/pseuds/involuntaryorange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I saw James Bond jabbing a computer monitor with his finger in Skyfall, I immediately imagined all of the ways he might annoy Q with his technological ineptitude. This is one of them.</p><p>a.k.a. The one where Bond doesn't know how Facebook works, and barely knows how texting works.</p><p>Update: I've added another chapter, and may well add more in the future as they come to me, but each chapter stands alone so I'm going to keep this marked "complete."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Facebook

**q why is everyone on facebook laughing at me**

You have a Facebook account?

**yes**

That doesn’t seem very incognito.

**i used a fake namw**

Fine, let me just check.

I would hardly call “Bond Jamesbond” a “fake name.”

**can you just tell me why people are posting lol to my facebook**

Ah. It’s because you posted “brown haired twinks in glasses” as your status.

I assume you were trying to Google it.

…Bond?

**i think my phone was hacked**

**i wasnt googling that**

**it was probably hacked by someonr**

**why would i googke that**

Right. Of course.

Christ, are ALL the double-ohs on Facebook?

**we use it for research**

How did you even manage to set up a Facebook profile?

**moneypenny did it for me**

I suppose that’s why your relationship status is set to “it’s complicated.”

**no i did that**

**should i not have done that**

On second thought, that’s actually rather apt.

**how do i delete a status**

If you were hacked, maybe you should just delete your entire account.

**no i dont think thats necessry**

**it probably wasnt a hack it was prubably just oneof the other 00s playing a prank**

Right, of course.

**but how would i google something if i wanted to google something**

**just out of curiosity**


	2. Error message

_—Timestamp 15:23—_

**q my compuer is yelling at me**

It’s “yelling at you”?

**yeh theres a box that says somethinng and it wont let me clicj anywhere else**

An error message?

**probably**

Can you take a photo of it with your phone and send it to me?

**sure**

** **

That is a picture of your face.

**sorry i dont knw how that happned**

Your phone is in selfie mode.

**how do i turn off self mode**

There should be an icon with rotating arrows.

**oops**

Wrong button.

I’d ask you to try again but I’m afraid of what you’d show me.

**no need to be afraidf its just a bit bigger than youre used to**

Dear lord, Bond, your charm does not translate to texting.

**you find me charmng**

Well. I didn’t say that.

Anyway, let’s get back to the matter at hand.

I see you’re typing something, so let me preemptively clarify that I meant the matter of your computer.

**it coulld be at hand all you have to do is ask**

**oh**

**well the error message is gone anywy**

It is?

**yah now the whole screen is blue**

I give up. Just bring the computer to Q Branch the next time you’re in the office.

**im in the offce right now**

You’re in the office yet you decided to solicit tech support via text?

…Wait, why are you shirtless IN THE OFFICE?

**be there in a few**

Please put a shirt on first.

Bond?

_—Timestamp 15:57—_

“BUTTON THE SHIRT” WAS IMPLICIT.


End file.
